


What Even

by Zanya (caidanu)



Series: Resurgence [5]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Slice of Life, spoilers for later in the series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-13 08:56:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20579861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caidanu/pseuds/Zanya
Summary: Sometimes even Greed questioned his own decisions.





	What Even

**Author's Note:**

> There are days I consider redoing the summary of this series to the adventures of Ed and his dumbass boyfriend. lol. Spoilers ahead for post canon events on what Greed can do. A reworking of an old tumblr prompt I did a couple years ago. Not heavily edited so there may be some typos. 
> 
> If anyone is curious to how Greed will look in this verse post canon, I found a wonderful faceclaim for him. Look up Atsushi Sakurai. Or if you have pinterest, I have an entire board dedicated to this Greed: https://www.pinterest.com/caidanu/greed-20-fashion-and-quotes/

Ed’s voice cut through the two-minute silence between them. “In what world was doing that a good idea?”

Greed made an unintelligible grunting sound. There Ed went again, going on with his smart mouth, but damn if he didn’t look gorgeous doing it. Greed sat across the table from Ed and watched, amused by the whole thing. He wasn’t sorry for what he did. He _almost_ never was, so why start now? 

His idea hadn’t work out. So what? No one got hurt and that was the important part. So what if part of the ground had a crater in it? Those construction guys from the other didn’t have to worry about work drying up now. 

No sense in letting it get him down. He'd just have to try harder the next time and make it work. He sure as shit didn't deserve a judgmental lecture for it, but he had been around Ed long enough to know it best to let the crabbiness run its course. If not, then it might end up lasting the entire night. 

“That man was an idiot. I swear to fuck I’ve met smarter sandwiches,” Ed stated matter-of-factly, though his tone of voice lacked any real venom to it. “I’d put on him on your list of people to never listen to,” he added. 

Speaking of sandwich, Ed opened his mouth wide and took a bite of his. A few seconds passed before Greed even responded. It was much more entertaining to watch how little a gag reflex Ed had. He could find better uses for that mouth that had nothing to do with sandwiches or bad ideas. 

Maybe later he’d give that idea a go, but for now he occupied himself by playing with the rubber band that had been wrapped around Ed’s sandwich. 

Greed picked it up, pulled back, moved it around a bit. His eyes were focused on the rubber band and his fingers that he wasn’t really paying any mind to where he had it aimed. His mind was too focused on the way Ed would look taking his cock all the way in that pretty mouth, that Greed simply pulled back the rubber band and let it fly. 

He glanced up in time to watch it hit Ed square between the eyes. Greed’s eyes widened. In that moment, the realization of how much he had fucked up hit him. This was the rare exception of his _almost never having regrets_ thought process. Something like this might take days to make up for if he didn’t think of something quick. 

His mind went blank. Awkward silence enveloped the room. Then all hell broke loose: 

“What the fuck, Greed?!” Ed slammed his fist against his book and stood up His chair skittered backwards before toppling onto the floor with a loud thud. Ed’s arms started to flail as his face grew red. Bits of golden hair started to raised up as if Ed’s anger had fueled enough static electricity around his body.

A book whizzed past Greed’s head and hit the wall. A loud smacking sound soon followed before the book fell to the floor. A warning shot, no doubt. Ed had excellent aim and never missed. He turned back in time to almost dodge a bread roll. Soft fluff lightly smacked against his cheek, before bouncing off at a ninety degree angle and flying off to his left. 

Greed broke out in boisterous laughter. His sense of humor got him into trouble more often than not, but Greed had too much pent up energy, and it had to go somewhere, and having a roll hit his cheek and zip off into wherever it had went set him off for reasons he couldn’t explain even if he wanted to. 

“Why in the hell did you do that?!” Ed yelled then he did that weird thing he sometimes did: sucked in an abnormally large breath and pointed a finger at Greed. 

Oh shit. Greed knew that look. Ed’s mouth was opening and closing, fast, and his voice was escalating a lot faster than he thought it would. None of the words said to him sunk in. His thoughts were somewhere else as it occurred to him that the rubber band might’ve been a terrible idea. 

Maybe Ed had hit the nail on the head. Only he was the dumbass in question, not some random guy he had met on the street who thought it would be a great idea to—well, no sense in going back to that train of thought. He had bigger problems. If he didn’t figure out a way to distract Ed, he dig himself into a hole so deep it will end up taking him weeks to climb out of it.

He clapped his hands, leaned to his left and set his hand down on the table. Part of the wood raised up and turned into a skull. Not really his style, but that should do it. Greed waited and watched as Ed's mouth dropped opened but nothing came out. 

The anger momentarily deflated. Ed's expression went from angry to surprised. He moved around the table, next to Greed to inspect the work. “How in the fuck—” Ed whispered as he touched the skull head. “When did you learn how to do that?” 

Shrugging, Greed cracked a pleased smile. “For about a week.” He had thought about telling Ed sooner because, despite how he had trouble focusing, he really did try to pay attention to every Ed taught him about alchemy. He had simply never been able to produce results he wanted until recently. He had decided to save it for a 'good' time to show Ed. Now he was glad he did. 

Then one of those other 'things' that Ed often did happened. Greed could take a good guess at all the shit that was rattling around in that big brain of his. Not to mention he was pretty certain Ed's facial expressions did a quick once through each stage of what just occurred and now wore a sour look. 

His attempt at distraction had been found out so Greed gently moved his finger across Ed’s forehead in an apologetic manner. 

Ed reached over poked Greed on his shoulder, suspiciously close to one of his nodes. "You think you've won, and maybe you have cause I gotta spend some time processing this, but don't think I've forgotten you snapped me between the eyes with a rubber band." His finger moved down to now poke at Greed's chest. "When you least expect it," he said, shoving the last bit of sandwich into his mouth. 

He grinned as Ed stocked off. For a second he considered grabbing a hold of Ed's hand and pulling him back in for a kiss but decided against it. That had been made out to sound like a threat, but damn if the idea of Ed getting his revenge didn’t make him hot in all the right ways. 

When he least expected it? Greed was looking forward to it.

**Author's Note:**

> My apologies on the lack of updates with everything. Dealing with a lot of health issues rn and feeling pretty down and uninspired. My motivation to write has tanked to the point where I'm not certain if or when I will get back to it. Writing this silly, pointless little thing has helped but I can no longer guarantee what I'll get done or work on next


End file.
